


Aliens Made Me Hard!

by terma_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Deliberate Badfic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-09-01
Updated: 1999-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:22:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26535067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terma_archivist/pseuds/terma_archivist
Summary: Mulder with his dick.
Relationships: Alex Krycek/Fox Mulder
Collections: TER/MA





	Aliens Made Me Hard!

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alicettlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [TER/MA](https://fanlore.org/wiki/TER/MA) and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2019. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [the TER/MA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/terma/profile).  
> TER/MA September 1999 Challenge. It is time to have some fun. This is one everybody is capable of doing, I think. Even the best writers among us. *g* So, we all read a lot of slash, right? And we have all run across stories or mistakes so bad, we groan in misery and wonder what the hell the writer was thinking. We all have little terms and pet peeves we hate to see in stories. Well this month's challenge is to write badfic. I want to see stories that make me laugh they are so dreadful. I want weeping manpoles, pendulous nutbags, winking puckered starfish of love, glistening bosoms...wait—that is the wrong genre. If you mean you're, I want your. Two,to and too can come and go at will. Go find the worst mistakes you can , and write a story which includes them. Whatever you do, DONT beta. Write it at 5 in the morning after drinking 5 cups of expresso and not sleeping for 48 hours. Or write it after having 18 shots of tequilla (or the poison of your choice). Whatever doesn't work for you. Make it so dreadful, you can't read it without hanging your head in mock shame. And above all, have fun with it... --- OK, word of warning here. These are really dreadful. All are NC-17 for really bad taste. If you looking for a good read, go elsewhere.   
> September 1999 Disclaimer: I don't own them and no one would want me to. So there. Rating: ...um, bad. Notes: Actually I wrote this awhile ago I never thought I would post it anywhere. It needs a sequel and I just might write it. Don't tempt me! Feedback: Ahahahahaa sure right...

  
**"Aliens Made Me Hard!"  
by Agentgrrrl**

  
Alex, the thought of him sent a pain straight to his loins, god he needed to get laid. 

Good thing his subscription to Big Cock Monthly hadn't run out, unfortunately it was late. He'd just have to masturbate to that big foot footage that the Lone Gunmen had given him, they know his tastes so well, then again they too didn't have a life. They had to record their phone calls to porno lines too get off, Mulder hated calling them for that reason he didn't want them recording his conversations, lord knows what they did with those. 

God, things were so bad that even Scully was looking good, Fox knew he shouldn't even think of Dana last time she had given him a pity fuck Skinner had reamed him good. 

She was right of course mopping about Alex was not going to fix this hard rock in his pants, he'd have to get looser pants if he didn't fix this rock soon. It was getting hard to think, Mulder thought, again. The thought of Alex's big feet made Mulder cream, no wonder Big Foot looked good. 

He played with his rod like he was trying to sand it down, hoping to smooth out the edges. 

He wondered, absently, that if he died in this position if they would dust his rod for finger prints. He hoped they would, preferably Scully or Skinner. God, the thought of their gloved hands dusting his still hard cock as he lay dead from a heart attack or hopefully an alien abduction; God, he couldn't count the times he went to a place where there had been UFO sightings and jerked off; hoping that he would be abducted while he worked his cock, he wanted to see the look on the aliens' face as he shot his load on them; God, aliens made him hard. He wanted to believe, in the worst way. 

He was a sick bastard, he liked to do this: sit in his office polishing his dick waiting for someone, maybe the cleaning man or maybe a lost FBI rookie, like Krycek, to come in and join him. He had made many a good friend that way. But since he had lost his key no one could walk in on him except Scully and she was reaming Skinner and wouldn't be back till he was sore; Mulder knew from experience. 

Damn, he thought, how would he get out of his office. The door was locked and for the life of him he could remember were he had put the key. If he wasn't so hard he would be hard pressed to do something as hard as make some of that coffee that Scully loved so much. 

Really she hated it when he made coffee but he did it like he did many things, just to annoy the little skeptical, petite, twat, he made the coffee from two parts coffee and one part spunk, man he made a mean cup. Mmmm thick to the last drop. She got him back, of course by creaming on his bagels or making it with his hot-dogs, or at least he though she was getting him back, maybe she was just as sick as he was. 

A knock at the door made him cum. 

The end? 

* * *

September 1999   
Disclaimer: I don't own them and no one would want me to. So there.   
Rating: ...um, bad.   
Summary: Mulder with his dick.   
Notes: Actually I wrote this awhile ago I never thought I would post it anywhere. It needs a sequel and I just might write it. Don't tempt me!   
Feedback: Ahahahahaa sure right... [email removed]   
---


End file.
